


She's a Dream

by krazikrys



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Agoraphobia, Anxiety, Cunnilingus, F/M, Gang Rape, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Masturbation in Shower, Mental Health Issues, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 04:13:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18513673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krazikrys/pseuds/krazikrys
Summary: Brian did something completely insane after his divorce four years prior that wound up being a dream come true. He met a girl online who knew NOTHING about him. They've been married for three years and the pressure is on from all around for him to finally tell her who he really is as the group is getting ready to release a new album and possibly go on tour again. But how will she handle the fact that he's a celebrity when she can barely handle leaving the house?





	She's a Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Rated as such due to graphic sex scenes and language.  
> Mentions of gang-rape and aftermath.
> 
> Takes place during the Vegas Residency prior to DNA being released but after "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" has been released.
> 
> Don't know them. Never met them. Total fun for me.

“Are you ever going to tell her?” Nick leaned against the wall of the hotel suite staring at his best friend. He ran a hand through his short blond hair. This one argument was one they had had so many times. They all had. No one could understand Brian’s reasoning for keeping his identity secret. 

“Why?” Brian asked, walking into the room with a glass of ice water for Nick and handed it to him. 

Taking the glass, he replied, “Dude, you have to.” 

“No, I don’t.” The pair walked out to the balcony overlooking the pool and leaned over the edge. They were about twenty stories up. 

“Man, we are dropping a new album, going on a world tour. You have to tell her.” Nick turned around and leaned his back against the railing. 

“No.” 

“How is it we have done a two year Vegas residency and she has no clue who you are?” 

Brian looked down at the blue dots of water below him. “I don’t know, but I love it.” 

“Seriously, what does she think you do for a living?” Nick sipped his water and glanced over at Brian who was running a hand over his short auburn hair. 

“I never asked. I don’t care. She sees me for me, not something or someone I’m not.” 

“You are asking for trouble.” 

Brian spun around and looked at Nick. “And what if I tell her?” He asked, angrily. “Things will change. She’ll Google me and things are over. 

Nick placed his free hand on Brian’s shoulder. “Dude, you have been married for three years. How has she not Googled you? She met you at your worst. You were on Tinder! Granted under a pseudonym, but still. That is how you met, right?” 

Brian blushed at the reminder. “Yeah, but there’s so much more to it.” 

Nodding, Nick added, “Yeah, we know. But you still have to tell her. Things are likely going to blow up and she needs to know.” 

Sighing, Brian walked back inside. “Fine, I’ll tell her. Oh, and she’s coming out with me on Tuesday.” 

Nick nearly jumped inside behind his best friend. “You mean she’s actually going to grace us with her presence? Oh man. How are you going to do it?” 

“I don’t know,” Brian admitted. “I’ll figure it out. But you need to leave because I have a plane to catch.” He snagged the glass from Nick’s hand and set it on the coffee table and started gently pushing him towards the door. 

 

Brian arrived back at the one bedroom apartment he and his wife shared. Being there had been a decent sized gap between the last time the group had released anything and the new stuff they just dropped in May, he had been able to fly under the radar with his personal life. Not many people knew he had moved out to LA. And even fewer knew that he had gotten divorced and remarried since the last album had been released. It was that part of his life that worried him about the new album and tour the group was planning. What would the fans think? How much would everyone want to know? 

Brian set his carry on bag that literally only had bare essentials for traveling on the floor near the door and tossed his keys in the bowl on the table. “Babe?” he called, not seeing her there in the living room or kitchen. Tossing his jacket on the arm of the sofa, he walked back to the bedroom. He knew she was there. She never really left the apartment. Walking into the bedroom, he saw her laptop on the nightstand, surprisingly closed. The bed was made, so that was a good sign. He slipped his shoes off and placed them next to the bed. It was then that he heard the shower running. Walking over to the bathroom door, he paused. He heard his wife groan. Brian’s breath caught in his throat. Was this really happening again? Was it some sort of strange deja vu? He hadn’t noticed anything amiss in the house to suggest anything. But then, he hadn’t when he had walked in on his ex-wife either. Taking a breath, he quietly pushed the door open. What he saw made him smile. There was his wife, one hand bracing herself against the wall of the shower, the other between her own legs. She was completely lost in her own pleasure, head thrown back, eyes closed, water hitting her chest. Stripping quickly, he slid the shower door to the side and stepped in behind her. She still had no idea he was there. 

Brian pressed his body to hers, wrapping one arm around her waist, the other gently pushed her hand away from herself and slipped his own finger inside her. “Oh…” she groaned, leaning back into his chest. 

“I thought you were going to wait for me,” Brian whispered in her ear. 

“You’re home early,” she mumbled. 

“Caught an earlier flight,” he said, leaning down and kissing her neck as she groaned. “You are obviously looking for something,” he said, stroking her folds with his other fingers. 

“Mmm…” she moaned. 

He reached forward with the hand holding her and turned the water off. Somehow he still managed to pleasure her while reaching for the towel thrown over the top of the shower door. But he slowly pulled his hand away as he wrapped the towel around her. She whined at him. He turned her around and silenced her whine with a kiss. “I’m so not done with you,” he whispered hoarsely. 

Stepping out of the shower, he dried himself off and waited by the door as she hastily dried her long dark hair. When she got to drying her body, she purposefully took her time, knowing he was watching her. As she turned to hang the towel up on the bar, he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. Gently holding her face in his hands, he leaned down and kissed her. “God, I’ve missed you,” he said, pulling away from her lips. 

She smiled up at him. “It’s only been a week,” she replied. 

“Doesn’t matter,” he said, reaching down and scooping her up in his arms. He carried her to the bed and gently set her down. He didn’t care that it was early afternoon. He didn’t care that he was breaking all her rules right then. He kissed her mouth, forcing it open and sliding his tongue inside. He could feel her trying to back up further on the bed. He just followed her until he finally pushed her back and found her hands, interlacing his fingers with hers. 

He released her mouth and started to kiss down her neck. “Bri,” she whispered. 

“Hm…” he mumbled against her skin as he slowly kissed lower on her collarbone. 

“This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be,” she said softly, as he kissed his way to her navel. 

He ran his hands down to her thighs and gently pushed them apart as he lifted his head to look at her. “Too bad. You’re first today.” Using his thumbs he gently separated her folds before leaning down and flicking her with his tongue. She gasped. “I told you I missed you,” he said before dropping his mouth to her sex and beginning to pleasure her with his tongue. She groaned and writhed beneath him. He slid his hands beneath her to hold her to him as he continued. He felt her hand tangled in his hair and it forced him to remember to breathe. He felt her lift her hips and press herself to him as she moaned his name. Knowing he wasn’t going to get much more than that from her, he flicked his tongue over her one last time before sliding off the end of the bed. 

Brian stood there watching her literally lost in the pleasure. He really wanted to climb up next to her but knew better. She’d only push him away. He wandered to the bathroom to rinse his mouth before he walked back over to the bed. Climbing up beside her, he knew he was driving her crazy. She had rolled on her side and he moved her hair off her shoulder before leaning over and kissing it. “Why?” she asked softly. 

“Told you,” he said, stroking her arm. “I missed you.” 

She rolled over on her back. “You lie, too.” 

Brian shook his head. “Nope. Totally missed you. That and you drive me nuts when you get off on our own.” He leaned down and kissed her. He was about to climb on top of her and totally mess up her schedule, when she put her hands on his chest, gently pushing him away. 

“Your phone’s ringing,” she said. 

“Let it go to voicemail,” he replied, kissing her again. 

She pushed him off again, this time sliding out of bed. She reached for a hair tie on the nightstand. “Just go get it. I wouldn’t want someone from work to really need you and you not to answer.” 

Brian rolled his eyes and walked over to the bathroom to fish his phone out of the pocket of his jeans. Scrolling the recent calls, he saw that it was Nick. “It was just Nicky,” he replied, as she walked towards him, her hair up in a ponytail. 

She grabbed his hand and pulled him to the chair in the corner of the room. He still held his phone as she gently pushed him back into it. She carefully straddled his lap. “You know I hate it when you fuck with my schedule,” she said quietly. 

Brian raised an eyebrow at her. “God I love it when you get mouthy with me,” he said to her as she grabbed his erection and stroked it slowly. 

“Just text me next time,” she said, leaning over him to whisper in his ear. “Then you won’t catch me in the shower.” She grabbed his earlobe and gently pulled with her teeth. “Maybe I’ll meet you at the door and suck you off in the living room.” 

He set his phone down on the arm of the chair and grabbed her hips. “Wouldn’t be the first time,” he replied. Brian felt his phone vibrate on the chair but chose to ignore it as his wife released him and slowly lowered herself onto his erection. He held her hips as she placed her hands on his shoulders to give her enough leverage. “Oh, God, Babe,” he groaned. 

“See what you do to me,” she said as she slowly started to rock her hips. He helped her ride him, watching as she kept her eyes locked with his. 

It wasn’t long before his fingers dug into her hips. Sweat glistened on her body. He knew he was close. He so wanted to just let go, but he knew it would likely freak her out. “Babe…” he breathed. “Babe...you gotta…” He couldn’t finish his thought, but she understood and slid off him just as he started to spurt semen. She sat there on his thighs, but only for a moment. He groaned, tipping his head back on the chair before reaching for her, only to not find her sitting astride him. Brian opened his eyes and saw her sneaking off to the bathroom. This was nothing new. He had known it about her from the beginning. 

Knowing he should probably get up and towel off before she got out of the shower, he reached for his phone to see who had messaged. It was no surprise that it was Nick. “Have you told her yet?” his text read. 

Brian smiled. He knew he was probably going to get asked that question until they got back to Vegas. “Nope, kinda busy.” He could almost picture Nick rolling his eyes at that text. Grabbing his phone, he carefully extricated himself from the chair and walked over to the bathroom door. Snagging the towel he had used earlier, he wiped himself off and picked his clothes up off the floor. He tossed all of them in the hamper and pulled down the sheets on the bed. It may have only been three in the afternoon, but there was routine. He didn’t dare mess her up any more. He knew next week was going be so much of a change for her that it would likely send her into a tailspin. 

He waited for the water to go off in the shower and then she emerged, walking towards him. She fell into his arms and he led her to the bed, where he curled up beside her, stroking her cheek, their legs intertwined beneath the sheets. “Sorry I messed with your schedule,” he said softly. She shrugged. “I know you hate it, but we can’t be so rigid all the time.” She shrugged again, refusing to speak. “Becs, tell me something.” 

“Hm…” she mumbled. 

“Why is it whenever we have sex, you see it as something dirty?” 

She blinked at him. “What do you mean?” 

Brian sighed. “We’ve been married for three years. Every single time we have ever had sex, you’ve showered immediately afterward. Does this have anything to do with the party?” 

“What do you know?" She asked, sitting up. 

Brian grabbed her hands. “Becs, I know about your nightmares. They are always about a party. About guys. What happened that you haven’t told me?” 

Becs sighed and looked at her husband. “It was years ago.” 

“What happened?” 

She shook her head. “I don’t talk about it.” 

“Please. Help me understand. I really don’t mind the showering or the fact that you won’t let me come inside you. Or even the fact that you’ve never really gotten off for me. None of it bothers me. I’m just curious.” Brian ran his fingers over her cheek, brushing a stray hair away. “I just want to know why you are the way you are and how I can help you better.” 

Sighing again, Becs looked up at her husband with tears in her eyes. “I don’t talk about it. But, I was drugged and gang-raped after I graduated from college. I just know there were like six guys. I spent like three days in the hospital recovering from all they had done to me. After that, I couldn’t bear to leave the house. What if it happened again?” She sighed. “I’ve worked through a lot of the issues with my therapist, but so many come back.” 

“Like sex being a bad thing?” Brian ventured to ask. 

She buried her head in her hands. “It’s not a bad thing with you. It’s just, I feel...I don’t know...dirty afterward. I think I spent an hour in the shower when I was finally released from the hospital. And then I couldn’t bring myself to leave the house, except to go to my therapist’s office. And even then, that was only because my neighbor would take me, wait with me, and take me home. She would also shop for me, or I would do delivery.” 

“It must have been hard in the beginning.” 

She smiled slightly. “Yeah, couldn’t get grocery delivery or anything like that. It’s better now." 

“So how did you end up on Tinder?” Brian brushed the tears away with his hand. 

“I don’t know. I was so depressed, I was just looking for a quick high. You were the first guy who I actually invited over.” 

Brian smiled. “I know how you felt. I was doing the same thing.” His phone vibrated on the nightstand. 

“Nicky must really want to talk to you,” she replied. 

Brian reached for it and opened his messages. “Nope, just telling the truth.” He showed her the message that said, “You guys are fuckin’ rabbits.” She laughed. “I’m glad you’re laughing. I always worry when I come home.” 

“Why?” she asked. 

“Becs, I can tell your mood the second I walk in the door. Things get done on a good day. On bad ones, I usually find you in bed.” He leaned over and kissed her. “I always look forward to coming home on a good day, anyway.” He ran his hand over her thigh. “It means you’re more open to doing things.” He brushed his thumb intentionally next to the apex of her thighs causing her to moan. 

“We don't have anything to do tomorrow, do we?” she asked. 

“Nope,” he replied. “We can just stay in bed and be rabbits if you want.” She smiled mischievously at him. 

“Good,” she said, sliding down on the bed, waiting for Brian to join her. Brian scooted next to her and held his wife. He knew for the next twenty-four hours they likely wouldn’t be doing much. He knew she needed it. Especially if he was going to literally rock her safe little world. 

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay to travel with me on Tuesday?” he asked softly, running his hand over her body. 

“I’ve got Xanax, I’ll be fine,” she replied. Brian doubted it but knew it was a rare instance that she actually wanted to go with him anywhere.

 

After spending a very chill Monday, Brian awoke Tuesday morning raring to go. He had an energy about him that he knew was leading up to being back on stage and performing. He loved coming home and recharging with his wife, especially since she had no clue who he was. He rolled over and gently roused his wife. “Becs, Babe, we’ve gotta get up so we get going soon.” 

She moaned and opened her eyes. “Did I really say I would do this?” 

Brian climbed out of bed and pulled his wife’s hand. “Yes, you did. Besides, Nicky and Cousin Kev are looking forward to seeing you.” He managed to coax her into comfortable clothes, and for her to bring her laptop and iPod. He felt on edge as they left for the airport together. She had her earbuds in and had pre-dosed herself with Xanax. Surprisingly, getting through security wasn’t too bad for her. She didn’t freak out and just followed directions, albeit with her head down the whole way. Once on the other side of the terminal, he saw her hands shaking. He stopped and got her a coffee at the Starbucks, knowing, oddly, that it might calm her down. She didn’t say a word just allowed herself to be led by him to their gate. They waited for their plane. She kept her iPod on and her eyes closed the whole time. Brian, meanwhile, checked his phone. There were three messages from Nick, each one asking the same thing. He replied with, “Gotta make it through today. Telling tomorrow.” 

Brian skipped his usual Instagram post about flying and instead focused on helping his wife through take off. The flight was really short, barely forty-five minutes, but he knew she was way overstressed over it. It was the most she had been out of the house pretty much since the day they got married. She’d met Nick for coffee once and Kevin at the house. She’d also met AJ and Howie, though she had a tendency to freak out and curl up in a ball when more than one of them was around. Brian now understood why having more than one of his bandmates around made her nervous. 

When they landed, he hoped that whoever saw them only saw a doting husband helping his wife off the plane and nothing more. It wasn’t that her mental illness embarrassed him, he just knew it embarrassed her. Being out and among people was super difficult. She would probably crash at the hotel. He didn’t mind. He had promised her that she could work there when she felt up to it. And they didn’t have to do any of the touristy things that most people did in Las Vegas. Granted, she had no idea why he didn’t want to be seen out and about either, but he didn’t mind. 

She kept her head down the whole way to the hotel and even checking in and heading upstairs. On the floor, she finally picked her head up and looked around. “You okay?” Brian asked as they walked down the hallway to his room. 

She pulled an earbud out of her ear. “For the moment,” she replied, gripping his arm tighter. 

Just as they reached his room, Nick walked by and clapped Brian on the shoulder. “Hey, you made it. Twenty minutes, okay?” Brian nodded. Nick paused long enough to say, “Hey Becs, good to see ya.” 

Brian’s wife smiled slightly as Brian opened the door and she slipped inside. He stepped in behind her and closed the door. “You sure you’re okay?” he asked, leaning against the door. 

“Yeah,” she breathed, setting her small laptop bag down on a chair nearby. She turned around and threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around him. 

He ran his hands over her hair, pulling it off her face and tilted her head up to look at him. “I wish I had more time to help calm you down.” He leaned down and kissed her gently. “But you heard Nicky. I’ve got a meeting in twenty minutes.” She nodded into his chest. “And it’ll likely be a late night, so don’t wait up.” 

She pulled away slightly and started playing with the buttons on his shirt. “What if I do want to wait up for you?” she whispered. 

He knew where this conversation was going. She usually got a little frisky as she came down from her anxiety. She started by untucking his shirt and playing with the two buttons at the bottom. Brian swallowed before running his hand over the back of her head. He watched as she undid those two buttons and worked her way up one more. Glancing up at him, she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. “Uh…” he paused. He watched as her hands dropped to his jeans and she silently undid them, casually sliding them down his hips. 

“Twenty minutes, right?” she asked, running her hand over him through his boxers. 

“More like fifteen,” he responded, trying to keep his voice in check, as he watched her reach for him before she dropped to her knees and gently slid her mouth around him. “Oh, God, Becs,” he moaned as she slowly sucked on him. He slid his hands around her hair, keeping it out of her face. He knew he was going to be late for soundcheck and at that moment, he didn’t care. He tried to warn her before he finally let go, but his body was too quick for his mouth. Opening his eyes, he glanced down and was surprised he didn’t see her pulling away from him. It took her a moment before she finally did let him go and slide back on the carpet. Brian tried to put himself back together as he watched his wife. She looked a little surprised and a little pissed. Dropping to his knees next to her, he whispered, “Becs, did you just swallow?” She glared at him. 

It was at that moment the phone in his back pocket pinged. Snagging the phone, he glanced at the text. It was from Kevin, “Where are you?” 

“Shit,” he cursed. “I’m late.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Sorry, Babe. I’ll make it up to you later. Love you.” He knew as he slipped out the door, she was probably heading to the bathroom, retching. Yet another quirk he dealt with. He raced down the hallway to the elevator, not realizing that his shirt was still undone. Now that he knew what she had gone through, he was a little surprised their sex life was as hot as it was. But things made sense now. Of course, she would have no clue who he was. She hadn’t really left the house in about fifteen years. She wasn’t on social media. She was obsessive about how things were in the apartment. She was super routine oriented. When she had agreed to come out with him to Vegas, he was beyond surprised. 

He arrived at the theatre there at the hotel and the other four members of his group were already there waiting. All four stared at him as he stopped in the green room. “What?” he asked. 

AJ laughed at him. “Man, she better not come on tour with us or else we are never going to run on time.” 

“What?” Brian asked again. 

Nick shook his head. “Dude, you are half dressed. What did you two do between the time I saw you and now?” 

Brian looked down and blushed, realizing the whole bottom of his shirt was unbuttoned. He hastily buttoned it and looked back at them. He said nothing. 

“How do you manage to keep this up after three years?” Howie asked. Brian shrugged. 

“Are you ever going to tell her?” Nick asked. 

Sighing deeply, Brian replied, “I told you. Tomorrow. Let me get through tonight. Let her calm down. This is going to rock her world.” 

“She seemed to have calmed you down,” AJ added. 

“Shut up,” Brian replied. 

“How is it she still doesn’t know?” Kevin asked. “You know you’re lying to her.” 

“She’s going to freak. You’ve all met her. She’s got her issues. This is going to blow up, I can feel it.” 

Howie walked over and put a hand on Brian’s shoulder. “If you don’t tell her now when the album drops and the tour starts, it’s gonna be worse. You may have been able to hide it for the past few years, but things are going to get crazy.” 

Brian sat down in a folding chair. “But what about the fans? What am I going to tell them? They’re going to lose their shit over this.” 

AJ snorted. “Just don’t tell them you were on Tinder. And that your sex life is beyond what they all dream about.” 

“Tell them the truth,” Kevin added. 

Brian buried his face in his hands for a minute. “Yeah, right. Tell them that Leighanne cheated on me.” 

Howie spoke up. “Tell them it’s a private matter. Your new wife is a private person. The news media is going to blow up over it. You’ll make People. They’ll go looking for a photo. They won’t find one. It’ll die.” 

“But you have to tell her first,” Nick said. 

“I will. I just don’t know how to do it,” Brian admitted. “I’m losing the dream, though.” 

Howie nodded and sat down next to Brian. “We know. It’s impossible to date in our situation. You marry someone everyone already knows and you become the ‘power couple.’ You date a nobody and they hound you for information.” 

“I still can’t believe you two met on Tinder,” AJ said. “That was one helluva crazy stunt you pulled. And you only had it up for a week before we made you take it down.” 

“It still blows my mind that she doesn’t know who you are or how we relate to you,” Nick said. “I mean, seriously.” Brian just shook his head. 

“It still gets me that you two act like newlyweds after three years,” AJ continued. “Who knew you were such a sex fiend.” He paused for a moment. “Tell me you’re not going to be late tonight.” 

Brian grinned. “No. I’m not going back to the room until after the show.” 

It was then that AJ realized something. “Aw, shit. I’m next to you. Are you gonna keep me up all night?” 

Brian laughed and shook his head, standing up. “No man, I promise, I won’t keep you up all night.” He patted AJ on the back. “She’ll probably be asleep when I get back. So maybe in the morning.” AJ just groaned as the five of them headed out to the stage to go over last minute cues and sound.

 

Around midnight, Brian was racing down the hallway. He was on a high that he had only found after a show. He should be tired after all that he had done for two hours, but instead, he was way too amped up. He hoped Becs was awake. Entering his suite, he made his way to the bedroom. He found her asleep on the bed with the bedside lamp on. She was laying on her back, the sheet laying over her lower half. Glancing around, he saw the empty pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream on the nightstand. She had obviously found the stash he had put together for her visit. He could tell by her nakedness that she was trying to wait up for him but obviously her anxiety had taken over and she had crashed. Knowing the mess would drive her insane, he quietly picked up the empty container and threw it away before gathering her clothes on the floor and setting them in a pile near the bed and then turning the lamp off. He decided he definitely needed a shower before he crawled into bed with her. He also hoped that the time he took would allow her to wake up a bit for him. He knew she would be upset with herself for falling asleep. 

Racing through the shower, Brian dried off and headed to the bed. He had a plan in his head that he hoped jived with his wife’s plan. He tossed the sheet off of her and climbed up beside her. Running his hand over her naked stomach, he slowly traced circles. She moaned in her sleep and rolled over towards him. He moved her hair off her face and gently kissed her forehead. “Babe,” he whispered. She scooted closer to him and placed her hand on his chest. He could tell she was starting to wake, just not enough he would allow himself to do anything yet. Running his hand over her hip, he watched as she slowly rolled back over onto her back, causing his hand to fall onto her stomach. He slid closer to her. He was watching her breathe when he felt her hand slide on top of his. “Oh, you are awake,” he whispered. “Do you mind if I take over tonight?” he asked. He leaned over and kissed her neck. “I know you like to get me off first when I get home, but you kinda already did that earlier…” He watched as she answered by slipping her fingers between his and slowly sliding his hand between her legs. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he replied, sliding two fingers inside her. She groaned, arching her back to press herself to his hand. He went on for a little while, building her up before he pulled away from her. She whimpered as he did so. “Don’t worry, Babe. I’m not done with you,” he said, feeling the rush come back to him. The shower had calmed him slightly, but he felt electric climbing on top of her and reaching over into the nightstand drawer. He knew she was gonna probably be pissed at him for what he was about to do, but he figured if it was his last night of true freedom, they might as well go for it. 

He pulled out a condom that AJ had stashed for him. The whole group seemed to know that he and Becs were extremely active when it came to the bedroom, but what they didn’t know was that she was very particular. He had had the guys stock his room that morning with ice cream and Diet Coke. AJ had promised to make sure there were “no more little Brian’s running around on the next tour.” Brian knew exactly what he meant, but figured he wouldn’t use them. But with the high of having performed earlier and having his wife lying naked beneath him, he figured he’d better just go for it and it might make it so she wouldn’t freak out as much. 

Taking a moment, he slid the condom on before he leaned over and kissed his wife. He gently nudged her legs apart before sliding into her. She groaned as he did so and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him down onto her. Brian forced himself to slow down and take his time, even though he was still riding a wave of adrenaline. As he thrust his way closer to his climax, he felt Becs starting to try and pull away from him. He leaned down next to her ear and stroked her hair. “Babe, it’s gonna be okay. Just let me. Nothing is gonna happen.” 

He felt her relax slightly but also felt her start to shake. He quickly reached his orgasm and rested his head on her shoulder. He felt her push on his shoulders trying to get him to move. Carefully he pulled away from her and stood up, peeling the condom off. Tossing it in the trash can near the bed, he looked at her. Becs sat up and pulled the sheet over her. “Why the fuck do you have condoms?” she asked him. 

He climbed up and straddled her lap, taking her cheeks in his hands. “Watch that dirty little mouth of yours, my love, or I’ll have to fill it again.” 

Shock played on her face. “You wouldn’t!” 

He smiled. “I want to.” He leaned over and kissed her. “God, I want to.” 

“I have never seen you like this,” she said. 

Brian crawled off of her. “You’ve never seen me right after work either. I usually have to fly home first.” 

“So why do you have condoms here?” She slid out of bed and started walking towards the bathroom. 

He got up and followed her. “It’s not what you think. You know Nicky lives here, right?” She nodded. “Well, I had him come in and stock my room before we got here. I know you found the ice cream.” She blushed. “Well, Alex mentioned something to me about helping him stock my room.” Becs blushed a deeper crimson. “Yes, they know. They’re my friends. They just don’t know _everything_.” 

“Well, I’m glad you keep something from them.” 

“Of course.” He stood in the doorway and watched as she quietly turned on the shower and waited for a beat for the water to warm up. He resisted the urge to climb in with her and instead just waited. She was only in there for about five minutes before she turned the water off and grabbed a towel. She dried off and as she walked past him, grabbed his hand. He followed her to bed and climbed back in pulling her over to him. She laid her head on his shoulder. As he felt her fall back asleep on him, he lay there thinking. What was the next day going to bring? How was he going to break it to her? What was her reaction going to be? Would things ever be like they were right then? Somewhere around two, he drifted off, still uncertain of how he was going to tell her.

 

Brian rolled over and felt the empty bed beside him. Opening his eyes, he saw it was morning and stared at the clock trying to focus. It said somewhere in the eight o’clock hour. Sitting up, he looked around his room. He didn’t immediately see his wife, but he could hear her in the other room. Rolling out of bed, he pulled on a pair of jeans and wandered out to where she was. He could tell instantly she was in a good mood. She had her long dark hair pulled up in a ponytail and was wearing one of his tee shirts. Her shorts just barely peeked out from underneath it. She obviously had her iPod on with her earbuds in because she was dancing around the room. He stood there leaning against the wall and watched her for a bit until she realized he was there. 

Pulling one earbud out of her ear, she grinned at him. “How long have you been standing there?” 

He smiled. “Not long. What are you listening to?” 

She looked down at her iPod. “Oh, Pandora. Some new song.” 

“What song?” 

She glanced down again. “Uh, ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart’.” 

Brian raised an eyebrow. “By Elton John?” he asked, knowing he was wrong. 

“Uh, no.” 

Figuring it was either right then or he would lose his nerve, Brian walked over and grabbed her hands. “Babe, I need to tell you something.” 

She pulled the other earbud from her ear and looked at him. “What?” 

“I think you’d better sit down.” He led her over to the sofa and sat next to her, holding her hands. “Do you remember when we met?” 

She smiled at him. “Of course.” 

Brian sighed. He still had no idea what he was going to say. “Well, and you know when we were dating, we never really went out on a real date.” 

Laughing, she said, “Of course not. I wouldn’t leave the house.” 

Sighing again, Brian realized he wasn’t doing a very good job of telling her. He really didn’t know what to say. Reaching for her laptop on the coffee table, he pulled it over and pulled up YouTube. He had an idea. “So, this new song that you were listening to...have you seen the video yet?” 

Looking at her husband with a strange look, she shook her head. “Um, no. You know I don’t do social media. About the most social I am online is with the sellers on Amazon.” 

He nodded. She really didn’t like anything to do with people. Typing the song title into the search bar, he found the video. “I think you should see it,” he said, pressing the play button beneath the video and balancing the laptop on his knees so she could see. He watched her as the music started. After about twenty seconds, she saw Nick close up. 

“Is that Nicky?” she asked. 

He didn’t say anything. He knew she’d make the connection soon enough. He hoped sooner rather than later. But as he continued to watch her, he realized that there wasn’t really a clear shot of him until about a minute and a half in. When that shot came, she froze. “Is that you?” she asked softly. 

Brian couldn’t think of a thing to say. He paused the video and set the laptop back on the table. Turning to look at her, he reached for her hand. “It is me,” he whispered. 

“Wait a second,” she said. “This is a joke, right?” 

“What is?” 

“The song, the video. It’s not like a real thing, is it?” 

Brian shook his head. “What do you mean?” 

She looked at him and then back at the video paused on the screen. “I don’t know what I mean,” she admitted. “But this can’t be real.” 

Reaching over, Brian pulled up a new tab and typed his own name into Google. He hadn’t Googled himself in a while but was pretty sure he’d find his own image about a thousand times. He turned the screen to show her the images. “It is real, Babe.” She reached over and scrolled down the page, looking at all the photos of her husband. 

“So you mean to tell me that you’re…” she paused, trying to find the right word. “A celebrity?” 

Brian shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. Things have been kinda quiet for a while, but yeah.” 

She started shaking her head. “No. No.” She stood up. “No, no, no. This is not happening.” 

Brian stood up beside her. He wasn’t entirely sure what she was going to do at that moment. He watched as she slowly moved around the couch and backed her way towards the door of the room. Grabbing her arm, he pulled her towards him. “Becs, stop. You can’t leave. I know you want to, but you are in a strange city that has a ton of people.” 

“But...but…” she stuttered, trying to find the right thing to say. “You have _fans_. Like a gazillion people know who you are.” 

“I know,” he said softly. 

“I can’t be a part of that. Too much. Too many.” She was shaking. “Things are going to change.” 

Brian grabbed her and pulled her into an embrace. Stroking her hair, he said softly, “Nothing is going to change. Nothing has to change. No one has to know about you at all.” 

Still shaking, she whispered, “I don’t know if I can do this…” 

“Babe, why don’t you go lay down. I know it’s a lot to take in.” He took her hands and led her to the bedroom. “I’ll give you some space and be back later, okay?” He helped tuck her into bed and then slipped out of the room, grabbing a shirt along with his phone. Snagging his card key, he slid out into the hallway and sent a text to Howie: “Hey D, who’s our florist?” 

Brian slid onto the floor outside his door and watched as the door three down from his opened. Howie walked down the hall to him. “Didn’t go too well, huh?” 

“About what I expected. She freaked. I’m giving her some space.” 

Howie raised his eyebrow and looked down at Brian. “And sending her roses?” 

Brian sighed. “Anything to get back in her good graces and to keep her _here_.” 

“What do you mean?” Howie asked, sitting down beside his bandmate. “Like she was going to divorce you or like actually leave the building?” 

“Like actually leave,” Brian replied. When he saw Howie’s look, he added. “It’d be a different thing if we were home. I know where she would go, one of two places: her therapist or Starbucks on the corner. Here, I don’t know. I can’t risk something happening to her here. It’s the one thing her therapist has told me: push her out of her comfort zone, but don’t let her do it alone.” 

“Has she ever _wanted_ to leave before?” 

Brian shook his head. “No. That’s what makes this so scary. I don’t want to leave because I’ve never seen her like this before.” 

Howie shrugged and looked at the floor. “Well, it is kinda a huge deal. So how did you break the news?” 

Brian sighed. “Our latest video.” 

“What made you go that route?” 

Shrugging, Brian said, “I don’t know. She was already listening to us on Pandora. I thought it might make it easier.” 

“It didn’t though.” 

“I don’t know,” Brian said, bowing his head. “I never should’ve told her.” 

Howie reached over and placed a hand on Brian’s shoulder. “You had to. If you would’ve waited, who knows what would’ve happened.” 

“I know,” he sighed. Looking over at his friend, he said, “You know, she’s probably never going to go on tour with us. I don’t know if she’d ever be able to fly by herself.” 

“There’s still a long time before the tour. You never know. You got her to fly out here.” 

“That took nearly two years. Do you know how exhausting it is walking on eggshells all the time?” Brian tipped his head back on the wall. 

“What do you mean?” Howie asked. 

Closing his eyes, Brian said, “I never know what kind of mood she’s going to be in when I get home. I mean, I can tell from the moment I walk in, but it’s just nerve-wracking. Is she actually going to be in a decent mood and things like the dishes and the laundry are done? Or am I going to come home and find her curled up in bed, unable to leave it because some stranger knocked on the door two days ago?” 

Howie looked over at Brian. He’d never admitted anything about his relationship. They all knew it was hard on him, it had to be. “You chose to marry her. You knew what you were getting in to.” 

Sighing, Brian replied, “I know. Maybe that’s why I didn’t tell her until now. She seriously thought she’d never find anyone to love her because of her illness. I didn’t and still don’t see her as her illness. It’s a part of her, yes, but that’s not why I love her.” 

“Do you think that you’ve been hiding because you thought she would see you as the celebrity and not you?” 

Closing his eyes, Brian ran his hand through his hair. “You sound like her therapist. She’s been on me for a couple of years now to tell her, but I just couldn’t. And you know, maybe it was because she saw me as me and not the celebrity.” 

Howie smiled at Brian. “Okay, so now you both are on equal footing. You both have shared your secrets, work with it.” 

Brian looked over at Howie. “Are you sure you weren’t a therapist in a past life?” 

“I’m sure,” Howie said, shaking his head. “But I’ll order your flowers for you. Pink or red?” 

“White,” Brian replied. 

“Okay, I’ll see if I can get it in before our delivery for tonight,” he replied, standing up. “You should probably stay close. It sounds like you rattled her world.” 

Brian climbed to his feet. “Just a little,” he added. “Thanks.” 

“She’ll come around. Just give her a bit.” Howie embraced Brian in a hug and then headed off back to his room, pulling his phone out to contact the florist they used for their show. 

Brian turned and headed back into his suite. Walking quietly to the bedroom, he found his wife lying on her side staring at the wall. Crawling up on the bed beside her, he laid near her but not touching. “Are you going to be okay?” 

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I feel like everything’s going to change.” 

“Nothing is going to change. I’m still the same person you married.” 

Rolling over, she looked at him. “No, you’re not. I married Bruce Wayne and you’re Batman.” 

“I’m Batman?” 

She rolled her eyes. “You had like a secret identity.” 

Brian smiled. “Not really.” He reached over and brushed a stray hair from her face. “It’s really not that much different from you and your OCD and agoraphobia. I really thought I’d never find someone again who loved me for me and not the celebrity status. But you did that. You didn’t know. I’ve wanted to tell you, but knowing your fears, I knew it wasn’t a good combination. But things seriously don’t have to change. You don’t have to come to any shows. You don’t have to go anywhere with me. We can continue on the way we’ve been going and no one will know about you.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes, I’m sure. Well, to an extent.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Brian sighed. “We’re eventually going to drop a new album and we’re talking about a world tour as well. Right now, no one knows I got divorced and remarried. But it’s likely that that is going to come out with all the press surrounding the new album.” She stared at him. “They’re gonna ask, Hon. I’m sure of it. But I don’t plan on giving away any more information than I need to. I promise. No one has to know about you.” 

“Except that, I’m married to you.” 

Brian shook his head. “Except that I’m married to an amazing woman. Do you know why I chose California to get married in, other than that you lived there?” 

“Why?” 

“Because they are the only state with confidential marriage licenses. No one knows we got married unless we told them. Remember? We didn’t need a witness. It’s not public record.” 

“So, are you sure I’m not going to have to go be out and about?” 

He smiled at her. “Not if you don’t want to. I don’t care how much flack I get from the press or management. You are my number one priority. Keeping you safe and sane. Besides, I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to do more than this right now.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Brian reached over and stroked her cheek. “I can’t be there for you when I’m on stage. I know if you were to come to a show or something like that, it would be very difficult for you to do it by yourself. I can’t be there to support you if I’m busy working.” He cupped her chin and leaned over to kiss her. “Haven’t you ever wondered why it doesn’t bother me when you don’t sell a design for a month? Or if you even get anything for weeks because you just physically can’t work?” 

She shook her head. “No. It’s one of the things I love about you. You’ve never pushed me beyond what I can handle.” 

Brian smiled at her. “And I won’t ever do that. But you’ve seriously never wondered about our finances?” 

“No. You take care of it. I let it be.” 

Stroking her hair, Brian smiled again. “The apartment ain’t cheap and neither is flying every other week. It’s not a huge deal. But I’m glad you’ve never worried about it.” 

She sighed. “I have enough to worry about.” 

There was a knock at the door. Brian carefully pulled himself away from the bed, while she said in a panicked voice, “Who’s here?” 

“Nothing to worry about, Hon,” he said as he walked to the door. He opened the door and found their florist standing there with a dozen white roses wrapped in plastic. “It’s already charged to the account, Mister Littrell,” the young man said, handing him over the flowers. 

“Thanks, Geoffrey,” he said. He closed door as Geoffrey walked off and turned around. There was his wife standing behind him. 

“You got me flowers?” 

“Don’t I always when you have a bad day?” He smiled handing the bouquet over to her. 

“And they’re white.” 

He nodded. “Yes. It’s the ‘I’m sorry’ bouquet.” He leaned over and kissed her. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. We can work through this okay?” 

She smiled and pulled away from him, heading for the vase on the counter that usually had some type of carnation and rose arrangement in it for his arrival. She carefully unwrapped the roses and added each one to the arrangement. 

As she was doing this, Brian heard his phone ping. Checking the message, he saw it was Nick asking if they all could swing by before sound check. He agreed. He walked over to his wife, and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her neck. “Up for some company?” he asked. 

“Maybe,” she replied. 

“The guys are on their way over.” He watched as she took a slow breath and turned around in his arms. She laid her head on his chest and stood there for a long moment. “It’s gonna be okay, Becs, I’m here.” 

She sighed and then walked over to the couch. She sat down in a corner of it and pulled her knees up to her chest. Slowly she started rocking. Brian let her be and went over to answer the door when he heard the knock. He found Howie and Nick standing there with AJ and Kevin headed their way. He invited everyone in and then went to sit by his wife, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her next to him, hoping she’d relax a little bit. She did relax a little as everyone watched and laid her head on Brian’s shoulder. Everyone perched themselves around the room. Brian looked at them and said, “So it’s all out in the open now.” The other four guys nodded. “But this changes nothing. You still have to keep it quiet about who she is and all those other personal details. She’s likely not going to be with us at shows or out and about.” 

“So, essentially do exactly what we’ve been doing for the past three years?” Nick asked. 

Brian smiled as he stroked his wife’s hair. “Yeah, pretty much.” 

“But do we get to tell that you’re married?” Howie inquired. 

Shrugging, Brian said, “I’m sure it’s gonna come out. They’ll likely also put together that I’m living in LA, too. You can only fly out of the surrounding airports so much.” 

“That’s the truth,” AJ chimed in. He lived in Malibu, so understood the craziness of the paparazzi in the greater Los Angeles area. 

“Oh, and absolutely no mention of how we met, okay?” 

AJ laughed. “I told you yesterday that would blow everyone’s mind. Of course, we’re not going to tell _anyone_ that you _really were_ on Tinder. We all get enough of the fake accounts.” 

“So essentially, you told her and nothing changes,” Kevin stated. 

Brian nodded. “Essentially, yes.” 

“You know management is going to be pissed,” Kevin continued. 

Brian sighed. “No more than they have been for the past four years. You weren’t in that room when they confronted me with the divorce papers.” 

“I was outside,” Howie admitted. “I heard them. It wasn’t pretty. But you have to take care of yourself.” 

Nodding, Brian agreed. “And, I have to take care of Becs, here. I’m skipping sound check today. I’ll see you guys at the show. But, as you can see, she’s still worked up.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead and stood up with the rest of the guys. Each one hugged him in turn, Howie last. “Thanks for ordering for me.” 

“No problem,” Howie stated. “Why white?” 

Brian shook his head. “I don’t know. I always bring her flowers when it’s a bad day. I save the red or pink for when I have no clue what’s wrong. White is because I screwed up. That’s just how it’s been.” 

“Whatever works for you, Bro.” 

“Thanks again,” he said, leading Howie to the door of his room. Once they all had left, he turned around. His wife was laying on the couch. He kneeled down on the floor next to her. “Babe,” he said softly. She looked at him. “I think this is the next thing we need to work on.” 

“Hm?” she asked. 

“Being with rest of the guys,” he said. 

She closed her eyes before carefully sitting up. “What do you mean?” 

Brian took a breath and grabbed her hands. “You know they’re my friends. They _are not_ going to hurt you.” 

“I know that,” she whispered. 

“Then why does it freak you out so much?” 

Shrugging, she replied, “I don’t know. Because they’re guys?” 

“Can we bring it up with Jane on Monday?” Becs nodded. “Good.” Brian got up off the floor and sat beside his wife. She once again leaned on him. “That’s going to be quite a session on Monday,” he commented. 

She sighed. “Yeah. Glad you’ll be there.” 

“I’m glad you let me bet there.” 

She smiled. “You’re a part of this now. I need you there. You have no idea how much you have helped me over the past two years.” 

Brian stroked her hair. “Yes, I do. You never would’ve been here with me in this room with me otherwise.” 

“You know it’s probably never going to go away,” she commented. 

Brian nodded. “Not entirely, no. But maybe someday I’ll actually be able to take you to an awards show or something like that. Or actually, let the paparazzi catch us at Starbucks.” 

She shivered at his statement. “Not any time soon, okay? DineDash works fine for me.” He grinned at her. “You know the thing I love most about you?” she asked. 

“What?” 

“That you see me for me and not my illness.” 

Brian leaned over and kissed her. “And that’s what I love most about you. You see me for me and not the celebrity. Let’s keep it that way, okay?” 

She nodded and then stood up. She grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. “You know, you still owe me for yesterday…” she seductively whispered. 

He wrapped his arms around her. “I do, don’t I. What do you have in mind?” 

She smiled up at him. “Hopefully something you’ve wanted for a while…” She pulled away from him and grabbed his hand, leading him towards the bedroom. 

“I do have a show later,” he commented. 

“I know.” 

“But I have tomorrow off.” 

She smiled as she continued to lead him to the bedroom. “Good.” 

Brian shook his head as she closed the door behind him. “This is a week of firsts for us, huh?” he asked. 

She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. “Yeah. You could say that. Just set an alarm. I wouldn’t want you to be late again.” 

Brian grinned. “Oh, I think they are gonna get used to it.”


End file.
